Study Show : Drug Dealers same with Game Developers

July 19, 2009

How are Drug Dealers the same as Game Developers?

Politicians and angry soccer moms have been harping on about game being addictive and generally bad for their children, well, the table below hopes to prove this to be true once and for all.
After doing rigorous tests and spending tons of money on research, we have come up with this: Those who sell our children drugs are no different from those who sell our children video games! Shocking? It’s true!

Read on to learn more.

Drug dealers	Software developers / Game Publishers
Refer to their customers as “users”.	Refer to their customers as “users”.
“The first one’s free!”	“Download a free trial version…”
Have important South-East Asian connections (to help with the “stuff”).	Have important South-East Asian connections (to help with the code).
Strange jargon: “Stick”, “Rock”, “Dime bag,” “E”.	Strange jargon: “F2P”, “P2P”, “DRM”, “RTFM”
Realize that there’s money to be made in the 14- to 25-year-old market.	Realize that there’s money to be made in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
Business is expanded by industry’s producing newer, more potent mixes.	Business is expanded by industry’s producing newer, faster machines.
Often seen in the company of pimps and hustlers.	Often seen in the company of marketing people and venture capitalists (same thing).
Their product causes unhealthy addictions.	WoW. Warhammer. Plants vs Zombies. Left 4 Dead. ‘Nuff said.
If you do well, you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you.	Wait, WHAT? GODDAMNIT!